Sunday, June 27, 2010

God Loves, Man Hates, Aliens Probe Yer Butt

It's Gay Pride Parade!

Free Ass Smacks! But he regretted it as people kept sneaking up on him and smacking his arse.

The View down Belmont from Clark.

I, for one, welcome our insect overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted blogger, I would be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.

Of course, with so much love and pride (Free Hugs, Free Kisses, $1 Ice Cold Water) there must the ubiquitous religious right platform telling everyone in hearing range that they're going to Hell. On the other hand...

This young lady was so infuriated by the above people that she walked from Clark and Belmont to the Belmont and Sheffield Walgreens where she bought some posterboard and markers. She plopped down on the store floor and made this sign. She is awesome.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Storms...within and without.

Next... on Hoarders...

Rotten, littering, senior punks...

Shelter from the storm...

Lightning Strike!

And, as with all things, it passes.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

The Cubs Fall Flat

This used to be a statue. But someone kept rocking it and the metal braces broke.

This is a weekly delivery for one bar.

Don't know if you can tell, but that's an ambulance in front of Sluggers and then another one just 100 yards away for a separate incident at McDonalds. Crosstown Classic!

Cubs Fandom on the rocks.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Blackhawks Win! (part 2)

The Chicago Police Department begins to clear the streets with a line of mounted officers. Other officers command other people to move to the sidewalk. Around 1am, all the bars are told to close their windows and begin Last Call. The crowd is now being funneled toward Addison.

The first couple of passes didn't do much. The crowd simply retook the streets after the horses passed.

Around 2am, the crowds are pretty much dispersed or on Addison. Now the dirty work begins. Bouncers and store owners sweep garbage into the street for the street cleaners to pick up.

The bicycle officer who ignored me before doing a bang-up job of standing there.

Some random snippets of conversation:

"Dude, I wanna bail you out but I'm fucking poor right now. I know, I know you dinnit do nothing, bro..." - Guy on cellphone.

"I love you. I gave up my family for you, but we CANNOT go back to Sluggers!" - girl to tearful other girl.

It's Clark Street in Chicago. Every single weekend we get ...

The Thrill of Victory

the Agony of (personal) Defeat

Blackhawks Win! (part 1)

After the Blackhawks victory, all the sports bars in Wrigleyville emptied out onto Clark St. Because, in a strange twist of geography, Clark borders the United Center and Philadelphia.

With all the helicopters this must be what LA feels like...

A crowd gathers to watch (and cellphone record) a shirtless girl make-out with some guy. That bra was barely on, by the way.

The couple finally starts to leave, but the crowd boos. So, naturally, the girl (by herself) returns and...

... begins an impromptu lap-dance. The crowd cheers and begins to not only grow in number, but to get even closer to her. Random guys begin to dance with her.

Now, call me paranoid, but I head over to tell a police officer about it. With dozens and dozens of drunk people surrounding a half-naked dancing girl I had a bad feeling that it would not end well. This bicycle officer didn't even look me in the eye and just grunted at me. "Yeah."

The crowd grows in number and rowdiness. I head back over to the the police cordon and tell another officer. He says, "Thank you, sir," and tells a female officer who loudly says, "HA!" No one moves.

Two minutes later, ranking officers (just two awesome guys) plunge into the crowd, grab the girl and bring her over to the Police Carrier. The crowd boos, curses them and eventually goes back to general insanity.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Sidewalks and Stickers

"Hm. This doesn't look like you. Can you be frightened?"

Man, that Threadless is topical.

This was the greatest; a Greenpeace sidewalk hawker was explaining the BP oil spill to a Clear Cellphone sidewalk rep.